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WRITE SCREENPLAYS THAT SELL the Ackerman Way
Written by Hal Ackerman
Paperback: 320 pages
Publisher: Tallfellow Press; (October 1, 2003)
ISBN: 1931290520
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I hate books that include phrases such as "Write Screenplays" "That Sell" in the title, I really do. I know it's a marketing thing, and most likely the author would have preferred a different title. I do know, as a published author, that most publishers reserve the right to name your book. It's not just screenwriters who lose control of their baby.

I had the same criticism of Linda Seger's latest book, which I really liked.

This book exudes an attitude by the author of "I'm right, and you better believe it." This doesn't always throw me when I'm reading a book, lots of instructors teach, write, talk with an attitude. Here it only bothered me in certain sections of the book.

Hal Ackerman has been teaching at UCLA for 18 years and he clearly has an opinion on what makes not just a good screenplay, but one that will sell.

"Writers want to say what's never been said. Executives want what they've already heard. The majority of produced screenplays are the genetically impaired results of crossbreeding of those two species." (p.14)

Well said. The material presented in the book consist of the usual things instructors feel compelled to tell new writers, such as what is proper screenplay format and why structure is so important.

I liked most parts of the book, but it wasn't anything spectacular or groundbreaking, though that has more to do with the subject than the author. There are some interesting diagrams, or as he calls them "Ackerman Scenogram(s)" and being a sucker for such things I found his analysis of such movies as THE GODFATHER and HOUSE OF GAMES enjoyable.

Chapter seven, "What isn't a story," at the beginning focused very neatly on some misconceptions beginner writers often make. They mistake skeletal ideas as the stuff of story. Just because you have a "great idea" for a movie doesn't mean, first of all, that it really is, and second, an idea isn't enough for a movie. Your idea may not be enough to get you past the first twenty pages.

As the chapter continued I found myself not agreeing with his discussion of theme. Focusing on the creative process of writing and what theme's function is, Ackerman tells his reader that "THEME LEADS TO PREDICTABILITY." (Caps are his.)

A story that is theme driven will ultimately, according to the author, undermine your story. You'll end up "writing a message, not a movie." (58-59) I agree that when someone sets out to write a message instead of a movie that's exactly what they'll get.

I've always found that bad writers are the root cause of a bad, or predictable, screenplay. Plus, it's really expectation of genre and the Hollywood system itself that are to blame for the rash of formulaic storytelling that is propping up in our movies.

But mostly, and this has got me writing an essay that I'll share with the website later, I really feel a lot of screenwriting instructors and gurus are incorrectly defining theme as premise. Theme is not "what the movie is about," that's a premise. A theme is the emotional response the premise evokes.

Ackerman uses Lajos Egri as his jumping off point, incorrectly stating that theme and premise are one in the same. As a matter of fact, though there was not an index in the book, I do not recall Ackerman ever mentioning premise. He considers what the movie is about to be its theme, which is not always the case.

In any event, I found the book to be of minimal value, it's not a bad book, but with all of the better options that are available, this one doesn't rate high enough in my opinion.

But then again, that was before I read this next book which has been sitting in a stack six feet high for a couple years now... I wish I had left this next book there.

FADE IN
The Screenwriting Process
Written by Robert A. Bergman
Paperback: 313 pages
Publisher: MWP (1997)
ASIN: 0941188078

This is hands down the absolute worst book ever written on screenwriting! The author, Robert A. Bergman, has basically no experience in screenwriting. He has never optioned or sold a script, nor has he accomplished anything as an instructor or teacher. In his bio it tells us he's a "songwriter, musician" and worked for a while as a sales and marketing executive.

He must of done one hell of a job pitching himself and this awful book to its publisher, Michael Wiese Productions. Somehow, for the love of God, this book made it to a second edition.

Inexplicably the book is poorly written and contains a screenplay by Mr. Bergman that displays why indeed he has NEVER accomplished anything as a screenwriter. I know that's a harsh thing to say, but you know what, this is a book that if you bought it, the publisher and author have stolen money from you.

Bergman's instruction is often times so generic that it's obvious he has no idea what makes a good screenplay. This book really is embarrassing for everyone involved.

Finally, I'll leave you with this, the author got a chance to interview William Goldman for this second edition, and to his credit he actually got the interview as Goldman is not that easy of a guy to pin down for an interview. First sign of trouble, the interview wasn't actually an interview, it was more like a meeting. Apparently, not long into the meeting, and Goldman asks Bergman a question. Now, Goldman has made it known in various interviews he has given that he really can't stand bad writers. He detests a lot about today's writers, especially bad ones. I suspect Goldman could smell something here as this is, and I quote from Bergman's book, what transpired:

The conversation soon shifted to writing novels. When he [Goldman] asked who my [Bergman] favorite authors were, I sat there with a blank expression on my face as if the next word out of my mouth would be, 'Duhhh.'

If that wasn't enough embarrassment the author continued, "As mentioned in the introduction [of this book], one of my handicaps was not being a big reader of fiction…" Never trust a writer who has written more than he has read.

Shame on MWP for printing this book, not once, but twice.

HOT PROPERTY
Screenwriting in the NEW Hollywood
Written by Christopher Keane
Paperback: 320 pages
Publisher: Berkley Publishing Group; Berkley (August 5, 2003)
ISBN: 0425190404
BUY this book ON SALE!

Another book that contains a bad screenplay written by the author, just kidding, I didn't bother to read this screenplay, couldn't bare to after the last one.

Christopher Keane is an author and fairly accomplished screenwriter. He currently teaches screenwriting workshops throughout the county.

My first piece of praise, this book read like a book and not a manual. It had pages filled with wonderful insights, advice, and knowledge offered by the author. His conversational style of writing was just what I needed. A competent writer he is.

This book gets you thinking about the nature of screenwriting and the nature of writing itself. What are the motivations you have as a writer? What are the sources of your desires to express yourself? That's what writing is, it's expression.

First and foremost, before you can write effectively, you must be tuned into your desire to write. Keane tells us, "Pay attention to the reasons why you see certain movies and avoid others."

In the first week of his class he asks his students four questions:

1) Where are you from; 2) Why are you interested in writing in this strange form [screenplay] when most of you have never even read a screenplay?; 3) What movie influenced you the most?; and 4) Tell us about your darkest childhood memory.

Now these questions will seem strange only to those who really have no business writing creatively in the first place. If these questions rub you the wrong way, seriously think about getting out now!

This is an excellent book and easily one of the better ones I've read recently. It offers a different teaching angle to help maximize screenwriting instruction.

COOL MILLION
How To Become A Million-Dollar Screenwriter
Written by Sheldon Woodbury
Paperback: 244 pages
Publisher: M. Evans and Company; (December 2003)
ISBN: 1590770188
Purchase on SALE!

The answer to the question... How do you become a millionaire? Win the lotto! It's your best chance, so there you have it. I mean, that's why we're all writing, we wanna sell that script for a cool million. We want fame and fortune and for everyone to love us. But seriously, this is another title that I really loathe.

Okay, I couldn't hate this book, though I really wanted to, because in terms of what Mr. Woodbury is trying to achieve, and that is to focus not so much on the screenplay as an art, but as a business plan. And he succeeds admirably to reduce screenwriting to something that any kid in the country could accomplish.

A screenplay is just a suggestion for a movie that ultimately the studio will take, mangle, and produce something unrecognizable by the writer, but something that they can market, regardless of quality.

Here are some highlights (quotes) from the book that I scratched out while I was reading. And I mean that, I literally destroyed this book while reading it. I even gave it to my dog and tried to get him to play tug-a-war with it, but to no avail.

"A blockbuster screenplay delivers a movie story that has terrific commercial appeal."

"Create Something Cool… blockbuster movies are almost always cool."

As a screenwriter you're "WRITING A STORY FOR A BIG AUDIENCE" made up of PG-13 kiddies who want special effects, eye candy, and girls wearing tight clothing.

"Blockbuster movies appeal to kids" … ugh.

"BLOCKBUSTER MOVIES ARE INTENSE" dude… and are "BUILT TO THRILL."

"As a blockbuster screenwriter, you want to touch an audience's heart and thrill their minds and imaginations, because that's what every movie-goer wants when the lights go down and the movie begins." Forget about intelligent and sophisticated storytelling that adults can enjoy.

Finally, this piece of mind-blowing information: "Writing a blockbuster screenplay isn't as hard as you think."

There you have it, right from the horse's ass, I mean, mouth.

Okay, I was wrong, after writing this review I really do loathe this book. I think Sheldon Woodbury is guaranteeing us that the future of screenwriting as an art form is in serious doubt.

MONSTER: Living off the Big Screen

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